Trying to make sense of what we're seeing, I have come up with a couple theories. Maybe it helps, maybe it just helps me pass some time and occupy myself until the irritation subsides.

Theory 1: Spring in Sacramento is hard on a lot of people. Maybe the entire squad is on allergy medication, and thus is simply unable to think, anticipate, act, and react as fast as the opponents, who are from SoCal and Oregon, St Louis, and such places which have no allergens to contend with. It is not fair to have higher expectations when they are so impaired.

Theory 2: Midfield and forward positions practice diligently and with intensity of concentration to form and detail, but they don't practice together. Therefore, midfielders are driving forward and serving balls in to imaginary strikers, and strikers are making runs and turns on imaginary balls served in to them. Naturally, then, they cannot be expected to know what the other key component of the team is liable to be doing when they are actually in a competitive environment together.

Theory 3: With half the team speaking Gaucho all the time, and the other half trying desperately to learn the language, there is simply too much confusion and distraction. To expect any level of symmetry and unity of motion and thought is unreasonable.

Theory 4: Probably for safety reasons practice sessions are conducted against cardboard cutouts of defenders, not actual live human defenders. So when practicing, it naturally looks like our forwards are super fast and can easily outrun two or three defenders every time on balls sent forward from the back. Of course, then, it is always a shock when playing an actual team of actual live human defenders to be reminded that no one on the team is very fast at all.

Theory 5: Quails are seriously bad luck.

These are just some ideas. They obviously need to go through the standard scientific process. In the meantime, I feel better.

Truth is, I still hold the conviction that in the first half of the next contest a goal will be scored for the good guys, the indomitable guys, in the run of play, and the floodgates will be opened. This also may be only a theory.

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